A Crack

One of the most ethereal experiences I've had is watching the sunrise over Haleakala crater in Maui. You stand before this crater in pitch darkness. Cold, tired, groggy, hungry because who really wants to wake up even earlier to eat. You wait in anticipation. I think at one point I started to wonder if it was ever going to happen. Then I started thinking that it better well be damn worth it. I mean I'm crazy standing here in the cold, miles above sea level when I could be still sleeping. But no, I got up. I got dressed and I better have one fine ass sun rise. Like one of the best in my life . I start to doubt. I get irritated. And then it happens. The sun pierces through the layer of fog and the world turns into this floating land where you are above the clouds. You watch the world around you come to life, having waited silently for the sun's warmth. It's amazing and beautiful.

In a lot of ways I have been standing waiting for the sun rise to come. I've had so many days of darkness that I was starting to expect to never see the sun again. In the darkness you freeze, even with sweaters and blankets, you are never able to get warm enough. You wonder what the hell am I doing this for. It is worth this. Is welcoming the new day worth freezing? In my analogy, I don't know if it is or not. Not yet at least. But I will say that the band of people who have gathered around me to warm me in these days is telling me that it is.

The new day will be worth the pain and desolation of the last few weeks (or months, who am I kidding?). But even though the dawn has broke and the first rays of warmth has pierced my eyes there is still time to go before the sky is full of sunlight and joy.

Sometimes I get lost in my analogy. It makes sense to me. Right now that's all that matters. If no one understands or shakes their head while rolling their eyes at my constant need to find analogies .. fuck 'em there isn't much I can do with those people anyway.

So the day after winter solstice, where the night is the longest that it will be in the year, I welcome the coming of spring and the dawning of a new day. At least a little bit.

....... you know, comments are welcome. :-)