Driving

I'm a car baby. I grew up in LA after all, the land of the car. This inner sanctuary where you forget that you are surrounded by glass on four sides and everyone can see you cry, laugh, pick your nose or blast your horrid 80s song of choice. I've always loved my cars. It works for me too because it's like a little cocoon. I feel safe.

Today I got a new car. My old one was being repossessed. I don't want to focus on that. I'm kinda done. But for the first time today I felt like maybe life would move on. That I could make different choices. I bought a VW Rabbit. I'm not a Bug girl. Not cute enough, feminine enough, yada yada. But I've always loved VW brand. I admit it. It's like Apple. I'm a sucker for the advertising. I buy these products because they make me feel quirky and cool at the same time. It's embracing the side of you that doesn't quite fit in. You want to choose something slightly different, slightly creative, and clean, open and fresh. Can you tell I've worked in marketing? Yeah, me too.

I mean I could have bought another Honda. Another "mom" car. Another symbol of the beige choice. Some may argue that VW isn't any less beige than any other brand. But to me, it is. I think of the Mr. Blue Sky commercial. This longing to search for something else. And the car doesn't mean you have something else but it means you are making a different choice. You're in something that will remind you of how to get to the blue sky. Oh yes, my brain is like this EVERY DAY!

When I turned the Honda in, emptying it of the last 2 years of my life, I felt relief. I felt unshackled. I felt like I stepped away from a life that I didn't want. And sure enough my son's car seat fit just fine in the new car. I could make this other choice and still be a mom. Maybe not your average mom .... I bought a car with two doors and very little storage. But I don't care. When I'm driving down the street I felt quirky, slightly creative and different. I choose something different and here was my proof to the world.

I'm overly symbolic. I over-think everything. But sometimes, I make choices that just make sense at the time. I didn't go in thinking that I would feel this way driving down the street. I just wanted a VW. So I did it. Of course, I doubted. I test drove other cars. But it didn't feel right so in the end I signed on the dotted line and bit the bullet. I followed my instinct of what was best.

I was rewarded with feeling like a whole new world was opening and Mr. Blue Sky was waiting.