Monday, March 1, 2010

Try to Keep Myself Away from Me

Self-intimacy. It's a scary concept.

I've been doing the Artist's Way for about 2 weeks now. Not very well I might add. You see I'm avoiding intimacy. That seems so counter-intuitive. And in some respects blatantly false. In the end though only I am in my own head and I know I'm avoiding it. (It as if somehow me is "it")

Intimacy. Shared with another or with myself. It is scary. Scarier with myself than with another. I avoid mirrors. Distraction and exhaustion are the norm. Yet. Yet. I come back to here and stare. I avoid. A grain of revealation but afraid of diving in.

With another I can lose myself in the intimate connection. I become them. I lose me. Eventually, me doesn't like to be lost and I rebel. Blaming the other person for this losing of self when it was me all along. Yet. Yet. Can't I just distract myself from me?

No comments:

Post a Comment