Killing Someone

I'm trying really, really hard to not kill anyone this week. It's like my hormones have been all over the place and I'm on the edge. It can't be menopause, can it? I mean I'm 38 years old! That's far too soon, right? right?

Sigh.

Regardless I am on the short list of bitches lately. I can't control my emotional roller coaster. up and down. up and down. I'm not quite sure why. I mean yes I wrote that last blog and all but you know I cope a really long time with being pretend. So it's not that.

Work is interesting. I'm with a team that likes to rib at each other constantly and frankly, I can't handle it. They don't rib me and I know it's in good fun and it is funny but it's constant. So I come home and I'm on edge. Like for sure. On edge. I want to kick someone. Can I just punch someone to all hog heaven?

I'm sick of stupid ass people who call Obama a Nazi and the messiah complex. Shit like that. It's just so so so stupid. And then their reasoning,  well you did when Bush was in office. Now admittedly, I hated Bush's politics but I actually found him to be a funny and charming man. He was a man's man and how could you not like him. Did I agree with his decisions and the way he ran this country no? But did I call him a Nazi? no. It just stupid, stupid people that just want to keep being divisive and angry because they can't figure out a new way to express themselves.

Then my Mac died and I'm upset because I feel like I lost a part of me. Yes, I have a 8 year old Fujitsu laptop that works well but you know I haven't bonded with it. The keyboard is loud. The fan is even louder. But I want my Mac back and I'm upset that it happened. Because frankly, where am I going to get another $800 to buy a MacBook? No where. Because the last time I checked, we are firmly poor. Ok. Not poverty level but well not living in the lap of luxury either. Frankly we can't afford things like that. Sigh.

I'm just pissed. All the time. But there is nothing I can do to not be pissed so what difference does it make. None. But the egg shells are out and in place. You step on one and yes I will kill you.