True Beauty

I grow tired of women's insecurities about their bodies. Their never ending quest for beauty. Their never ending dialogue that tells them that they are not beautiful because they are not thin, have wrinkles and gray hair, or they have given birth to multiple children so they have stretch marks or scars.

We all do it. I do it. I kid constantly, "oh it's tough to be this beautiful. I don't know how I do it." Of course I swagger and smile. It always gets a chuckle and I move on. Part of me stops to wonder, are they laughing because they think, "she's delusional. don't you see how fat you are?" Then I wonder, are they laughing because they think, "wow. I wish I could think that." I never have the nerve to ask.

I talk about this a lot. Maybe because I struggle with this a lot. I rebel against people making me fit within a box of their expectations but then I'm lost without those expectations. It truly makes no sense. I think all women are like this. We all struggle with the expectations to be beautiful. Even the most beautiful women I have known - thin, gorgeous, shiny hair, pearly white teeth, perky boobs and all - think they are ugly. They push away people wanting to take photos of them. They cringe when someone says they look beautiful. And I sit there and wonder why. But the other part of me understands.

I'm lucky to have spent my life as the fat best friend. I've seen the cracks in the beautiful people and seen the beauty of ugly people. But sadly I lack the ability to convince anyone that they are beautiful. Just this morning I repeated this song to a friend of mine. And I sat there listening to Justin singing about sexy I couldn't help but think ... damn straight I'm bring sexyback. I mean how could I not. With a face like this ....

[caption id="attachment_672" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Who doesn't love an Andy Warhol version of themselves?"][/caption]

See it's saying shit like that that gets me in trouble. No one, NO ONE, is all that and a bag of chips. Maybe if we stop thinking that I'd have this if I was thinner or I'd have that if I had the tummy tuck or if I was blond my life would be perfect, we could actually start enjoying the true beauty of people. The flawed gaps in our teeth, the imperfection of our skin, the gray that pops out of our head, the wrinkles that form as we grow older. It all goes back to the flaws. We all have them. Maybe if we showed them we could unlock the handcuffs that perfection has placed on us?

So I'll take the first step. Here I am - hair barely brushed, no make up, unplucked eye brows, skin tags, slight double chin, and flawed skin. Hardly the picture of perfection. But I guarantee, I'm singing SexyBack.

[caption id="attachment_673" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="Here I am"][/caption]