Perhaps

You know the metaphysical/spiritual side of life is interesting. The logic kills it most of the time. I've been on a journey for awhile now. more than a year from point A to point B. I remember doing a stupid Facebook tarot card thing and it was amazingly accurate. My life was in turmoil - change was coming. action needed to be taken. I wrote about it here.

Tonight I rediscovered Facebook. I've been on but I haven't played games, my farm was dead, the tarot was ignored. basically just an update and a reading. it has been a lifeline as I've struggled to adjust. I don't have close friends that are near me. So the cyber world is where my friends and I stay in touch. And they are people I know in real life. lol

Anyhow, I did a tarot reading. I expected some more crap as usual. But again it was surprisingly accurate and indicative of the place I am right now.

Recent Past - Judgement
Incredible pressure to tell truth lest you be judged. A court case or other legal proceeding in which an outcome is assigned. Have you done anything for which your judgment or actions would be called into account? Time to examine life, friends, family, career and relationships with a discerning eye. Time to deal with something major in your life. Transformative energies are surrounding you now. A choice is at the ready and must be made now

I have been examining what I did wrong, what I will do different, and dealing with the truth for the first time in awhile. Divorce is full of judgment and ultimately transformation. Not just of going from being married to not being married but changing the way you view relationships, your dreams, what you thought your future was going to be, all of it. Indeed it has been time to deal with it and deal with it I have.

Current Situation - Temperance
Calm and balance. Need to have patience for events surrounding you as they play out. Moderation. Accommodation. Reflection on your life. Maturity. Draw emotions in and stop overreacting to outside forces. Contemplation and reflection on events, relationships and work. Be the calming force in chaos. Possible to overcome addiction to substance, people or relationships. Obsession passing. Order being restored. Bring calm to mind and behavior patterns. A time of peace is beginning. Let it wash over you.

In the last few weeks I am coming closer to a sense of peace. The obsession of what my life is going to be and what I did wrong is passing. It's moving into a different place. A place of acceptance in many ways. My behavior and pattern has stabilized. I'm settled here now. My roommate situation aside, the pattern is set. Just tonight I thought to myself that I feel peaceful. Tonight we did nothing. Nothing. I had no cliff to talk myself down from. No traumatized child to console. No roommate drama. I've had to calm in the chaos. I haven't had any choice and with that calm is coming the peace. God I need a time of peace.

Future Influences - Four of Swords
A time of repose and solitude. Get away from everything and take a vacation for your mind and spirit. Your body is exhausted as you have been trying to do too much. Time to stop and think about where you are headed in life. A time of stability. Relaxation. Your body needs to heal before you continue. Listen to what you inner voice is telling you.

Now that peace is coming I feel the exhaustion. I went to bed at 10pm last night. I never do that, I haven't done that since I don't even remember. Oh maybe a day here and there but there have been many many tortured sleepless nights. But to feel that peace and need to think about what is the next step. And heal. I need to continue to heal. And listen. The quiet path of the drummer is there. As it always has been and now I need to quiet again, pull into my strength, recover myself more and follow. submit.

the contrast between a year ago and now. seeing the writing on the wall and not wanting to face. the universe calling to me to change. the movement and painful action involved in that was and is exhausting. it's been a rough time. that's an understatement. But I want to savor breathing again. quiet again.

maybe there is something to this tarot thing.